My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
