If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Randomize
