i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
