he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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