I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
