just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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