I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
