The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
