I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
