I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize