Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
