Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
