Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
