Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
