Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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