Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize