i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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