put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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