so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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