The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
