the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
