Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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