He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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