sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize