that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
