He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
