Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
