They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
