I only kidnapped one of them. chill
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
