You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
