I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
