Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
