Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
