so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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