Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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