you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
