we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
can u get pink eye on your cock?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
