Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
did i just pee glitter
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
