Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
