roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
