People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
