I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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