Are we in a gay sports bar?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
