Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
