So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
