He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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