do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
My bed smells like the plague
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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