How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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