thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Randomize
