My nipple is on Facebook.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
