This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
