Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
