what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
When did angry sex become our thing?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
