i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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