Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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