On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
my being single is dangerous.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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