So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
