I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
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