Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
