I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
