shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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