WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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