We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Randomize
