im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
