She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize