THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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