Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
