I love black thongs
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I love you.
Bad choice
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize