The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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