why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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