I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
