You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
