just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize