have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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